Communication in Marriage
It’s not surprising to find that one of the main causes for an unhappy marriage, including divorce, is the lack of communication in marriage. When you were a small child and you couldn’t communicate, what did you do? You will have thrown a tantrum and cried until someone worked out what was wrong. Know that you are all grown up that doesn’t work so good anymore, not for most people anyway.
It can take a lot of practice to be good at communicating, remember you don’t have to be talking to communicate. You can speak volumes about what you dislike or like by using body language. Also facial expressions say a lot. Are you afraid to smile at your wife for fear that you may be asked to do something you don’t want to do?
If that’s the way you think, then it’s time for you to talk. If you are unhappy with your relationship then be honest with your partner and look for a solution. The solution will start at the negotiating table, it’s time to sit down and talk with your partner. Both parties need to be willing to negotiate so they can come up with a solution that you can both live with.
It is important that you find a convenient time to communicate. Don’t sit down to discuss your problems if you have a pressing engagement, make arrangements to discuss things at a more convenient time. Don’t press your partner in to discussing your problems at inappropriate times.
Don’t demand to talk to your partner, be tactful and suggest that you talk, arranging a time and place to allow for you both to have time to arrange your thoughts and decide what to say to each other. It is not good to talk if you have not got your thoughts in order. Decide what you are unhappy about and work out your suggestions towards a solution.
When you start to talk make sure that you listen as well. Being able to listen is just as important as talking, you must compensate if your spouse is not as good a listener as you are. Don’t make your spouse feel inadequate and most of all don’t talk down to them. Both your opinions are equally important.
When you plan you negotiating make sure there are no distractions, you don’t want the TV or radio playing and you certainly don’t want any children present. Discussing your problems at the dinner table won’t solve anything. You must give this your undivided attention, discuss things face to face and allow enough time to complete your discussions.
You should strive to resolve your problems, however this may not be possible the first time you talk. So reschedule another another time to continue your discussions. Don’t give up. You may find your only way is to compromise, remember there’s always two sides to every argument, and both of you have to agree to be able to live together.
If you can not come to a compromise then professional help may be needed. Communication in marriage is a good start and if you are both committed to resolving your problems with your relationship, it will survive.